| Tax Tyme! |
[Feb. 3rd, 2006|10:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
Is it just me, or do my taxes just get funner and funner every year? Getting paid by a government that lies to you your whole life, steals from every endeavor in your existence, and murders anyone on your planet that lives by another code is a lot like a prom date that only accompanies you because you promise to fuck her, hassle free. I'll let my government run the world one year at a time, provided they force me to pay attention to them just long enough to get something out of our relationship.
Give it up for Ja rule. No seriously, he rules. At least, he did once upon a time.
AnYway... Should I talk about sex? Of course I should...
So, my attitude is sexual. My face, my demeanor, my pelvis.. all sexual things. My conversation, my revelations, my contributions to a relationship, conversation, or otherwise person-to-person interface.. mostly quite the opposite. I like gay sex, but not with men. I like gay attitudes, but not my own. I loathe gay stereotypes, the prohibition of same-sex marriage, and in-your-face faggots that live for their sexuality. I sympathize with those select few who are perpetually confused by the nature of it all.
I want, I need, I feel; though I seldom express any or all of the above. I give in to myself, but not to others. I question my self and it's nature at all times. Some small part of me feels like that's the way it should be for everyone. Maybe not concerning the issue of sexuality, but at least concerning the nature within each of us. YOu may feel compelled to argue that Freudian psychology dealing with the nature/nurture element in our psyches (sp?), but that's way off point. I'm not arguing here, though I do feel a need to define myself and more importantly express who it is that I want people to see that I am.
Of course I care what other people think. It only stands to reason if you think about it... I care (entirely too much, as it would seem) what others think of me. I think everyone does. A big reason that I care is due to that inalienable little part of me that knows nothing. That special spot in the very core of my being that has no idea what's going on, but tries it's damdest to be "in the loop". Let that part of you think on it's own; controlling your activities without restriction, and you will find a tendency to believe that total control is attainable. A self that believes every action of every other person is a reflection- moreso an influence- of a course of action set in motion by Him/Her.
******************************************************************************************************************* |
|
|
| The Beginning... again... |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006|10:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drunk | ] |
Ironic, isn't it? I just happen to get up the gumption to start my LiVEJOURNAL on the date of 1-23. The only question left is, who am I starting it 4? OH chucklechuckle. It's been so long since I've done this whole blogging journal thing, I find myself struggling to find the rhythm of it all again. I was on myspace for a while, but the insanity of it began to drive me... well.. insane. I loved to blog, and by god I wrote some monsters. I even had an international group of blog subscribers. Deep in my soul though, I could not help but loathe them, for they had all fucked upon each other, and none had fucked upon myself. I was little more than entertainment to them. A pawn in their sick little game of blogs, and photos, and innumerable amounts of friends with fascinating interests and sickeningly perverse fairy-tales.
I digress-- or digest-- with discress. The whole purpose of any endeavor begins with the need to entertain ones mind, body, and self. I am no exception. I love to please myself. I mean, I REALLY love it.
God, I need practice at this bullshit... I'm a bit rusty. For the most part, all my dreams are slowly coming true. I'm an art student, and a good one at that. I've proven my intellectual worth not only to myself, but interestingly enough to those would be "teachers" that seemed to have their doubts arisen from first impressions. I'm still a bit socially inept though. I'm still arrogant, if only in an underlying sense. I'm confident so much to the point that I distance myself from most people. We Americans call it an "asshole" There's been a change in me over the years though. I'm a newer, happier state of Josh. I don't bother to keep myself so sad so much of the time anymore.
Next week: Foreigners and the big beavers in Minnesota! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
zimreign's journal